Post-election thoughts
Think the Conservative platform is new and fresh and never-before-tried? I would like to refer you to a little Greek text from 448 AD by one Priscus. Mr. Priscus had the unfortunate job of leading a Byzantine diplomatic expedition to Pannonia to beg Attila the Hun not to invade his empire. While he was hanging around Hun Headquarters one morning, he got into a conversation that sounded something like this.

Anonymous Hun: Hi!

Priscus: Hey, you speak Greek.

Hun: That's because I am Greek.

Priscus: So what are you doing here?

Hun: I was a merchant, but when the Huns showed up in my city, I figured it was easier to join them than beat them.

Priscus: But don't you want to go back to Byzantium?

Hun: Look here, I've had it with you Byzantines. I like Hun society better.

Priscus: Why?

Hun: First of all, Huns don't charge taxes. Secondly, your Byzantine red tape just makes commercial activity too complicated. The way of the future is burning and looting. And furthermore, I don't like your arms-control legislation. Around here, I get to carry a lethal weapon anywhere I want to.

Priscus: Oh.

There you have it, the earliest expression of a Conservative platform. (OK, torqued just a little bit. But not that much.)

Now when you want to say that someone is slightly to the right of Attila the Hun, you can defend your position as a documentable statement of fact.