Among the savages
Last night I had a prime opportunity to do some anthropological research. I went to a lobbying firm's cocktail party. Here are some field notes I made after returning from the wilds of darkest Yorkville.

Lobbyists are firmly attached to their traditional costume, the dark tailored suit. Women are distinguishable by their expensive hair and men by their unimaginative ties. Really daring men wear unusual cufflinks.

Lobbyists also practice the culinary folkway known as the hors d'oeuvre. Last night I saw variations on the traditional artichoke heart, salmon in crepes, miniature hamburger, and calimari. There was also some mystery fruit with a green-black skin and fibrous pink interior.

As I was demurely chewing some purple tentacles, I was able to observe the lobbyists' tribal dance. It's called the Getting Facetime with a Politician Shuffle. It involves circling a cabinet minister in a slow holding pattern while trying to make eye contact with her and subtly elbow one's competitors out of the way at the same time.

For some reason I was more conscious than usual of experiencing culture shock in lobbyist-land. I felt myself wishing I could experience some interactions that weren't quite so highly ritualized. I began to wonder what would happen if the calimari turned out to be a nest of cleverly-disguised space aliens and they launched their attack on earth from the catering table.

I think I'm more suited to being an SF writer than a politico.